Your Mind Needs A Commander, Not A Soldier

Sometimes our mind can be a real prison. Clean thoughts turn into implacable enemies until stress and anxiety devour plans, hopes and strength. Taking the reins of our mental processes is part of the art of survival, quality of life and freedom.

We are used to hearing that the mind is not a glass to fill, but a lamp to be lit, and even worse, that it is like a parachute that only works when we are able to open it. We are used to reading and listening to these words, and we come to believe that the mind has a switch that we should flip to begin to “function” optimally.

“The pendulum of the mind oscillates between meaning and nonsense, not between good and bad.”

-Carl Gustav Jung-

It is necessary to fully understand these ideas. The mind is not a single entity, there is no switch, nor people who are born with “a stronger mind” and therefore better able to adapt to any difficulty. What exists are mental processes. It’s like a complex grove of cognitive and emotional dimensions that suffer from ups and downs, times of crisis, stages of growth and moments of challenge.

We could imagine the mind as a boat moving on a sea that oscillates between calm and storm. If we are simple illegals hiding in the baggage compartment, the boat will go adrift. But, a good commander doesn’t stop at taking the helm. The one who has the control of the boat is the one who knows the multiple techniques of navigation to face a rough sea, in a gloomy weather.

In this article, we invite you to dig deeper into this useful topic.

Understand the processes of the mind before controlling it

We have all had in our hands multiple self-help or change management books that invite us to take control of our mind or be more positive. It’s like encouraging a depressed person to be more optimistic. These approaches are not always helpful because the mind is complex, delicate and even stubborn.

The book “ Manual for emotional regulation ” from the Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience of Massachussets, offers a very useful and simple cognitive and neuroscientific approach to understand these processes. First of all, he gives a symbolic metaphor for those times when the mind acts like our worst enemy: it’s like poison brambles emerging from our emotional basement and invading everything. While turning off the light.

These are the times when we begin to apply ineffective problem-solving strategies. Mental exhaustion appears, so do obsessive-negative people, as well as a lack of emotional self-regulation. As we can see, the processes are multiple, and give rise to a “whole” of which we become, little by little, prisoners. These poisonous brambles occupy every corner and drag us down. There is no point in being told to stay positive because in these moments of life, we are precisely opposed to positivity.

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How to become the commanders of our own minds

We have all been educated and even convinced that we are free entities made to grow, to achieve our dreams and to be the authentic protagonists of our happiness. But, little by little, we realize that the world is putting obstacles in our way, and even worse, that we all have certain personal limitations that prevent us from growing up and having a more fulfilling life.

“The secret to happiness is to have simple tastes and a complex mind. But the problem is, people with simple minds and complex tastes abound. ”

-Fernando Savater-

Now let’s decipher a riddle. The best and most complex of all: the one that lurks in our mind and prevents us from moving forward. Many experts in emotional and cognitive psychology warn us that we all have a “model” of unhappiness. That is, we are applying some type of psychological process that would act as the root of the problem. It can be indecision, limiting attitudes, education received, lack of assertiveness …

It is necessary to decipher this inner mystery. For this, you can follow the following strategies.

The three rules to follow

We know that no one can take control of their mental “boat” if they don’t know how it works and what are the factors that prevent it from moving forward properly. In order to get there, this strategy is very useful.

• Discover yourself. First of all, realize that you are going to need time and personal dedication. So find some moments for yourself to find out what’s going on in your mind. For that, nothing better than to take a sheet, a pencil and to make columns: “What I feel” and “What provoked this emotion”.
• Confront it. Now you know what caused your unhappiness, your worry. You know what causes your present to lack genuine quality of life. Now is the time to confront it. On the list you made in the previous exercise, add two more columns: “How I want to feel” and “What strategies do I need to practice to feel this way”.

• Take care of yourself. The third strategy is to talk. This is the most basic and simple key that we must invest in every day. It is based only on taking care of ourselves, promoting our balance and our well-being at all costs.

To develop this final key, remember that it is not healthy to do or start things that go against your values ​​and principles. Always remember that every captain has an inner compass that tells him which route to take, which sea not to cross, or the most favorable winds to set sail. Practice inner listening, understand everything that is going on in your mind and learn from every process, from every difficulty overcome.

Any investment in yourself always translates into a greater capacity to be happy.

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Images of Artyom Chebokha