Uncompromising People: The Price Of Closed Minds
We could define uncompromising people in several ways, and perhaps in most of them we would call them closed minds. It is very difficult to live with such people, who, as a rule, adhere to their own point of view and are unable to listen or take into account others.
Are we facing a disease? Obviously not. Is it a mental disorder? No more. After all, we cannot label simple personality traits as clinical conditions.
There are ways of being, of seeing the world and of behaving that can be problematic… And this is where the challenge lies: the difficulty of living with someone who has a multifaceted character.
The funny thing is that there aren’t that many studies on this type of profile. It is interesting to enter the singular labyrinth of those characterized by such marked cognitive conservatism. Let’s dig deeper.
Why are some people intransigent?
We need to be clear on one point: we all have the right to be uncompromising about what we don’t like or don’t match our values. Doing it with respect and confidence is part of the most basic repertoire of our social skills.
Now, it’s important not to make this defensive exercise a constant. The latter is what defines uncompromising people, people whose attitude is characterized by opposition, a taste for conflict, an obsession with constant aversion and the art of stubbornness.
On the other hand, although we pointed out a moment ago that there are not many studies on this trait in the field of personality psychology, there is, however, one area that has emerged. interested in this feature. Indeed, social psychology has always wanted to know and deepen the processes of resistance to change (Zuwerink and Devine, 1996).
What makes a person, for example, refuse to change their mind in order to reach an agreement? Why isn’t someone able to take into account other arguments if they are valid? From the Rey Juan Carlos University in Madrid (Spain), they give us some clues through one of their studies.
The characteristics that define uncompromising people
We all know someone who is very difficult to talk to or make deals with. Colleagues, friends, neighbors or even family members. What is the reason for this stubbornness which combines with selfishness? Here are the characteristics that define these people:
- They show cognitive inflexibility. They are unable to change their mind. However, cognitive flexibility is a fundamental skill to enable us to learn, to improve ourselves by integrating new knowledge.
- Another factor of great interest is psychological reactance. This theory stated by Brehm defines those situations in which a person automatically rejects norms, suggestions or assertions foreign to his own, because he interprets these dynamics as challenges to his own freedom.
- Uncompromising people are always on the alert. They are also very sensitive to comments or behavior from others. They tend to interpret everything as a threat to their own dignity.
- They are characterized by cognitive conservatism. These people refuse to change their minds, to think differently. They demonstrate a manifest inability to act flexibly when circumstances demand a necessary change.
- They show an unreasonable persistence when it comes to demonstrating certain ideas to increase their sense of control. These people cling to their ideas, prejudices and stereotypes because they need the world to be predictable. Anything that challenges their world is seen as a threat.
How to behave in the face of such a profile?
How to live with someone who cannot speak? And how do you work or make deals with uncompromising people? It seems difficult. However, we have an advantage in our favor: we know what are the common threads that drive these problematic profiles. Now let’s think about a number of strategies.
To navigate on a daily basis with chronic intransigence, you need above all patience and calm. If we lose our nerves, we enter fully on the ground of the intransigent, and there we will have everything to lose.
It is advisable to always be above this personality. One way to do this is to have that mental balance that they lack. The following keys can help you:
- Show respect at all times. No matter what the other person’s reaction, it is essential to be respectful.
- When you have a discussion or dialogue with such a person, assume that in most cases you will not get anything. Don’t try to convince her at all costs.
- Instead of arguing with an intransigent person, allow them to give you as much argument as possible about what you are talking about. Usually, these people always give very weak arguments based solely on their own beliefs. Sooner or later it will be easy to contradict them.
- Avoid putting yourself on the same level. It is important that you maintain control over your emotions.
- Set limits. Respond to the disrespect with confidence: “Please, I ask you not to raise your voice to me” .
- State in a simple way the effects that such uncompromising behavior can have. Anyone who refuses to make deals or respect others will sooner or later suffer consequences. It should be let them know.
Many people rub shoulders with such personalities. Ultimately, we learn to survive in all kinds of behavioral “fauna”, and intransigence is no exception.
Our thoughts When we talk about gaining the trust of our children, we have to start by talking about respect. Find out more about this topic.
