To Feel Bad Is To Be Fine
Sometimes we blame ourselves for feeling deep anxiety. We don’t realize that in some situations, and even most of the time, to feel bad is to be okay.
Have you ever wondered what is behind certain expressions: ” you are so ugly when you cry “, ” a man does not cry ” … These are sentences, seemingly innocent, which are as directive as they are harmful, from censors like macabre instruments of torture.
Somehow they’re telling us that there is something wrong with our feelings… that we shouldn’t be feeling this. That we shouldn’t feel sadness after loss, anger and nervousness after suffering betrayal. Shouldn’t we really be feeling that way?
Why is feeling bad good?
We all go through good times and bad. It is part of our nature, the alternation of these feelings is consistent with the dynamism of the circumstances we are going through. In principle, there is nothing pernicious about mood swings, unlike what some cultures may report.
So, on many occasions, we can feel very bad, not only because of loss or betrayal, but also because of the helplessness that we feel from not being able to get out quickly. of this state of mind. It is in these moments that we direct all our anger towards us, enlarging the wound, the most painful wound.
Thus, feeling bad is beneficial when:
- We want to express what we feel
- Someone wants to communicate what they are feeling
- Something unpleasant is happening to us.
- Something happens to someone close
- We feel demotivated
These are just a few examples. The most important thing about emotions, when they gain value, is when we accept them, when we take the time to listen to them. When we take them as messages and not as the cause of bad news.
Feel bad, beyond the pain
When we change the way we look at things and recognize that these negative emotions are an important way of learning, the intensity of the suffering is reduced. This does not mean that we automatically stop being bad. Little by little, we are moving away from suffering. Remember that suffering can be optional.
Then, we can take this opportunity to make resilience one of our greatest virtues. In other words, overcome the discomfort, find meaning in our lives and learn from each experience.
How to work it?
There are different ways to do this. You could start with a journey to the depths of your being. Self-knowledge is a powerful key that lets us know how we feel, and where we want to go.
Another way to do this is to identify how we feel emotionally and, after that, start setting goals for ourselves to be more confident in choosing our coping strategies.
For example, if you know that you are getting irritable at the error, you can start working on it. You need to express your anger in a more controlled way, but also keep it from reaching very high levels.
You can also ask for help. For example, it is possible to go to a professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. We may all need support. In addition, these professionals not only help us when we feel bad, but they also guide us to improve the best of ourselves.
On the other hand, we can undertake activities that cheer us up. For example, exercise, paint, dance, share moments with your loved ones, etc.
The important thing is to find meaning in the trajectory you are tracing in time, to start saying goodbye to suffering. This is for example what Viktor Frankl tells us in his book The Man in Search of Meaning , a wonderful story about his life experience.
So feeling bad can be beneficial when you come to this stage of emotional acceptance. When you leave this space for your emotions to be released and communicate their message to you.
It could be that someone has hurt you, that what you have lost is important. When you accept these emotions, they will give you their energy to think about what to do, and they will go.
Our thoughts The Affect Infusion Model attempts to explain how mood affects a person’s information processing ability.
