Signs Of Emotional Abandonment In The Couple
The emotional abandonment in the couple often goes unnoticed because it is camouflaged behind the routine and the daily obligations. A little distance is okay, especially when the relationship has been going on for years; however, when one member of the couple stops considering the other’s needs, the matter becomes more serious.
We all know that the excitement of falling in love is fleeting. This is followed by more measured steps where it makes sense to face disagreements. No one should be responsible for the other. However, the emotional abandonment in the couple is different. It means that the relationship has become a source of suffering for one of the two members.
When emotional abandonment arises in the couple, it is undoubtedly because the relationship is about to enter a phase of intensive care. Nothing can substitute for this emotional pleasure of knowing that one is important to the other. So how do we know if our relationship is going through such a situation?
Emotional abandonment in the couple
First of all, we must define what emotional abandonment in the couple. Such abandonment occurs when one member of the couple is not emotionally available to the other.
This manifests itself mainly in indifference and a lack of empathy. In other words, there are no expressions of affection towards the other, of interest or of a disposition to understand his reality (his feelings, his problems, his successes, etc. ).
Emotional abandonment as such has to manifest itself over a relatively long period of time. Sometimes a person is a bit absent from the relationship due to personal difficulties or processes they are going through. In this case, it suffices for the conjuncture to be overcome or for a dialogue to be established for this to stop happening.
When there is emotional abandonment in the couple, the physical and / or emotional absence of the other becomes chronic. This can be devastating. Especially because the one who puts his spouse aside refuses to admit that he is doing it.
Signs of abandonment
Several signs betray the emotional abandonment in the couple. Most of the time, they are not obvious. Rather, they are attitudes that occasionally do not leave traces but configure a hurtful reality when they become continuous.
The main signs of emotional abandonment in the couple are as follows:
- The two members only talk about routine matters and without paying too much attention to them. They don’t sit down to talk, even if one of them wants to.
- When they get together with other people, one of the two ignores the other and spends their time with the rest of the people.
- One member either does not respond to the other’s displays of affection or does so with a clear lack of motivation.
- One of them knows very little about the other’s life, even if they are interested in receiving information about it.
- One member feels that he cannot count on the other in the event of a problem. When he talks to him about it, the other does not show himself to be interested, nor does he participate in ideas, proposals or expressions of affection.
- One of them feels extremely lonely, even though his partner is there.
A story lost in advance?
Contrary to what one might think, emotional abandonment is not always a sign of an absence of love. There is not necessarily a third person involved and the relationship does not have to be worn out. Often, psychological factors influence the situation.
Many people do not benefit from psychological resources to build a real bond of intimacy in the couple. In fact, the more someone interests them, the more they put up barriers and try to isolate themselves.
It is a defense mechanism. This is certainly due to past traumas that were not treated well or to a great lack of self-esteem. These people think they will be hurt or abandoned. And that’s why they give up first.
It is also possible that giving up is a way of reminding the other that a difficulty from the past has not been fully resolved. In addition, the obligations are sometimes so stressful and the professional life so frustrating that one does not make room for the other, by fatigue or lack of emotional resources.
If you think you are in a situation of emotional abandonment, the main thing is that you don’t jump to conclusions. Try to assess what is going on objectively and find a way to talk about it with the other, lovingly and without prejudice.
Our thoughts The feeling of abandonment can manifest itself in many ways. In the following lines, we will explain everything about this injury.
