A Mother Is Not A Best Friend: She Is A Mother

There are people who consider that the best relationship that can exist between a mother and her daughter is a relationship of “best friends”.

However, there is a risk with this situation: over time, it can lead to the emergence of mutual rivalry, loss of respect, confusion of roles and even invasion of privacy.

Children need an adult who sets them an example, who is a point of reference of authority and respect.

That guides them and gives them protection and support, so that they are in a position to deploy that emotional stability and mental health that they need and which gives order to their existence.

“The future of a child is the work of his mother” -Napoléon Bonaparte-

The problem with this type of relationship is that the healthy limit that must exist in a mother-daughter relationship disappears.

In this type of unhealthy and confused relationship, a high level of insecurity is generated in the girl, because her decisions are subject to the knowledge and approval of her mother or on the contrary, she will feel abandoned. This sign of overprotection becomes detrimental in the development of the girl’s personality as it generates a harmful dependence between the two.

The different ways of being a mother

When the figure of authority is not clearly understood on the part of the girl, she feels a feeling of lack of protection. His confidence is hurt. She will doubt when making decisions and compromise her aspiration for independence.

Just because the mother-daughter relationship isn’t a friend relationship doesn’t mean that it can’t be intimate and fulfilling for both of them.

But there is a difference between being friends and being a mother and daughter. Without a doubt, a good mother will always seek the best for her daughter. But that does not give her the right to invade her private life, under the pretext of being closer to her as a friend.

It is fundamental to understand the origin of this phenomenon. In most cases, this behavior on the part of the mother highlights emotional conflicts related to the addiction.

And in some cases, these conflicts are accompanied by depression and fear that the girl will repeat her mistakes. Thus, the mother is forced to resolve her conflicts on her own or with the help of a professional.

How to improve this relationship?

Girls know they don’t have to obey their friends. This is why a mother should be loving and firm at the same time.

In addition, a daughter has no reason to know about her mother’s intimate problems. This leads to unfounded fears, sadness and confusion in the relationship with his parents.

It is recommended that this type of relationship be transparent. It is important to build spontaneous trust and not trust based on imposition. Otherwise, there is a permanent state of anxiety and lack of confidence, which leads to unnecessary emotional loophole, which can be avoided.

On the other hand, both mother and daughter should talk about these problems if they detect any. It is not healthy to keep quiet about what can bother us in the other. It is necessary to express it, always in an atmosphere of sincerity and respect. Thus, the relationship will be healthy and free.

What both need to learn

The girl must understand, especially if she is a minor, that her mother has the right to make decisions in her life. Imagine the anger that would be aroused if these decisions were made by a friend. What we forgive a mother, we do not forgive a friend.

Misunderstandings between mothers and daughters can always be resolved. Knowing when to do it is key. To a good dose of respect and trust, you have to add a little common sense to resolve differences or possible annoyances between the two.

It is important for the girl to learn to solve her problems and gain independence.

Let her know that the mother will always be there, to support and advise her, as a mother knows how to do.

The girl should also understand that there are aspects of her life that she should keep to herself. That should not be added in terms of confidence, because each has its own history and its own path to follow.

And you what do you think ?