Hanging On Hurts More Than Letting Go
Life has taught me that holding onto something can sometimes be dangerous or even harmful. Hanging on to what we know, what we are used to is relatively easy. While it can hurt us, we just need to let the time pass and let go. The problem is that holding onto something or someone and making it a need has consequences.
To live attached, surrounded by “essentials” and beliefs that convince us of what makes us truly happy, is to empower our ego. It enslaves our well-being until we eventually destroy it. Because nothing from the outside, not even a person will give us happiness, even if we want to believe it. Not even the realization of a dream.
Living in the past is not the solution either. Because if nostalgia inspires and enriches us, living in memory is still hanging on. We don’t see it and we don’t touch it, but there is still this thing in our minds. And there is nothing more dangerous than to hold on to it fiercely, especially if it hurts us. This is why hanging on hurts more than letting go … Let’s go further.
Invented needs
What makes you happy? Think about it. What’s on your essential to be happy list? A partner ? A house ? The ability to work on whatever you want? Becoming number one or at least standing out among the first? Or maybe to have children?
Regardless, we would like you to think about it carefully. Do you need all of this to be happy? What do you desire most, the object, the dream, the person or the sensation that results when you know they belong to you in some way?
Often, without realizing it, we create a list of conditions that bind us to the concept of happiness. A series of expectations that constitute an ideal world that we come to believe to be real for a few moments. The problem is, we automate everything so much that we come to believe.
“When I have a job, I will be self-employed”, “when I am self-employed, I can finally devote my time to what I prefer”, “so many hours of work and effort will pay off and in the end I will be able to make my dream come true ”,“ I will find a partner and I will be so happy that we will build a house together ”. .. are some examples.
So what was once a one-off fantasy becomes a reality that we want to achieve. So much so that we put all of our effort into it and when that doesn’t happen, when everything falls apart or circumstances just don’t happen as we imagined, discomfort becomes an act of presence, in at the same time as we continue to desire the ideal of happiness that we had created.
Now, we not only have to face our thoughts, those that remind us that we are not so valid or good, but also our emotions: anger, rage, frustration, resentment … Unwittingly and unknowingly we have created our own trap, through a series of invented needs.
The pain that comes from hanging on
Conditioning our mood to objects, dreams and people is expensive. The point is, no one taught us not to do it, quite the contrary. We are continually bombarded with commercials that show us how we can “be happy and full”. Just watch the media.
Holding on to something or someone, holding onto some idea of the way things should be, are the seeds of suffering. Why ? Because there is nothing permanent, only change. For rigidity leads to stagnation, wear and tear and the enslavement of discomfort. Because we are all changing or do you think you are the same person as seven years ago. We are sure not.
Therefore, ignoring impermanence and clinging to objects, ideas and people is aimed at unhappiness. “You cannot bathe twice in the same river,” Heraclitus asserted, and he was absolutely right: are we or the water the same?
However, that doesn’t mean we should tiptoe around our lives and not give a damn. It also does not mean that from now on we do not care about anything, but that we pay attention to our relationships with others and objects, but especially with our mind. This way we will be able to determine when we are going to turn something or someone into a need.
Let go to receive
Let go, say goodbye or let go. There are many ways to call the practice of detachment, one that frees us from needs and breaks the molds we create with the intention of being happy.
Letting go is a process of growth and transformation, which only takes place when we learn that nothing is everlasting and everything changes. It is respect for the cycle of life and the understanding that there are things that, despite our desires, cannot exist, but more will come.
Letting go is keeping in mind that thoughts change and that what was valuable to us yesterday may not be today. It is cultivating a flexible mind, trained to face new circumstances, to prepare the heart to let go of those who can no longer be with us, and to release entrenched attachments to particular objects or situations.
It does not mean that they are not important to us. But that they are not necessary conditions for us to be happy, no matter how much it costs us at the beginning …
Letting go of attachment is the way to balance and release the ego. It is the path that allows us to work from the inside with ourselves. An act of courage that allows us to overcome the barriers of our comfort zone and lose the fear of living while waiting for what we cling to excessively.
Letting go is accepting loss as a fundamental part of life. Practice acceptance. Cultivate a flexible mind and an honest heart. Because life is change, but also movement, and we can forget that.
Our thoughts Abundance is a mental, moral, and physical state that helps us achieve our goals. It is associated with prosperity and well-being.
