How To Live With A Toxic Person?
The term “toxic person” is very common today, but what does it really mean? From the point of view of psychology, and for us to understand ourselves, we refer to a person who intentionally hurts us.
It is true that one can say that there are different levels and intensities of toxicity. For example, there are people who have behaviors that annoy us, others who infect us with their toxicity and finally, there are those who can even destroy us emotionally.
In fact, we can all have relationships to a greater or lesser extent with people who engage in toxic and harmful behaviors. A jealous partner, controlling parents, envious colleagues….
However, all of us who in principle have never sought to harm anyone, may end up playing a role with toxic characteristics, especially in environments that are themselves toxic. Let’s not forget that emotions and behaviors – both positive and negative – are contagious.
This type of situation is very typical in the workplace, an environment where there can be a lot of pressure or excessive expectations on workers. The toxic person generates a very negative emotional atmosphere which – in one way or another – ends up affecting everyone present.
Identify a toxic person
People with toxic behaviors exhibit certain characteristics and ways of dealing with others. They are :
- Manipulative. Their strength is to take advantage of the vulnerabilities of others.
- Wicked. They always remember and blame things from the past.
- Not very empathetic. They only care about their own interests.
- Envious. All of their attention is focused on what they don’t have and what others have. They mistakenly despise people who get what they want.
- Tyrannical. They give orders to compensate for their low self-esteem and insecurity.
- The victims. They perfectly play the role of victim. They continually complain and blame others for their lack of well-being.
Toxic people usually don’t put themselves in other people’s shoes and tend to project their faults. They mistakenly believe that by pointing the finger at the other, they are overcoming their miseries and their problems.
How do you survive a relationship with a toxic person?
There may be times when we have no choice but to live with a toxic person. This situation requires wielding certain strategies and having good self-esteem, as these people are experts at creating a bad environment and arousing negative feelings both in you and in your surroundings.
These people are said to be toxic because they cause wear and tear and emotional overload in those who have to live and interact with them. Many cases arise in the work environment, although this also concerns couple relationships and family relationships.
But that’s not always possible, or you might not be willing to take it out of your life altogether. In this case, you can try to change his behavior towards you. This is only possible if the toxic person wants to be helped and is able to recognize the damage they are causing with their toxic attitudes and behaviors.
To do this, you have to explain to him how his behavior negatively influences the people around him. It is imperative that you value and support her when she recognizes her toxic attitude and strives to change it.
The keys to dealing with and living with a toxic person
The basic premise of living with a toxic person is to set limits. You must not stop defending your rights. You have to make yourself respected. Otherwise, it will increase its strength at the expense of your vulnerability.
The most effective tool to prevent yourself from being “addicted” is to love yourself, that is, to value yourself. This will help you set boundaries and avoid being affected by their toxic comments and behavior.
How to neutralize toxicity and not get drunk?
Assertiveness is the most effective weapon to neutralize toxicity. When dealing with toxic people, you should avoid confrontation and always use assertiveness. It involves empathizing and trying to get the toxic person to understand and sympathize with you.
Finally, it is important to propose an alternative solution to the conflict. That is, you need to let him know that some of his behaviors hurt you. She will then be able to reflect on her behavior and the resulting consequences.
Our thoughts others they will not be loved), give in so much that they end up breaking. This is often the case because they do not know how to say no …
