Why Do We Become Conformists?

It’s not uncommon for us to look back and realize that at one time we weren’t conformists. We dreamed of arriving far, we wanted to make our life memorable. But something happened and at some point we changed direction.

We become conformists for various reasons: due to dependence on other people, low self-esteem, lack of motivation, fear of something …  One or more of these factors limit our development and our personal growth and prevent us from going beyond the threshold of “what is strictly necessary”.

Each of us, in fact, can manage our life the way we want, and you could say that it is the basis of everything. Some will do little, others will do a lot, and some will barely do what is necessary  to get through life in secret, without getting too involved in any major project.

“Case after case, we see that conformism is the easy way …”

–Noam Chomsky–

The “extra” or added value in one aspect of life (that is, doing more to be better) is what makes all the difference. Because this added value or more, apart from being a way of qualifying the entourage, of leaving its own imprint on existence, is also what defines the destiny of each person: their objectives and their limits.

Conformists to do what is strictly necessary

Being conformist is closely linked to the level of interest and demand that we have about ourselves. Only those who strive to achieve the greatest goals succeed in building a life that blooms with every step. On the other hand, doing the bare essentials means giving up the best things in life.

Very often we do not allow ourselves the opportunity, or the pleasure, of trying things to answer a simple and enigmatic question: how far could we get? What lies at the bottom of this attitude is, above all, a lack of confidence and a fear to make a difference. Something that results in slackening and a lack of interest, thus setting up the basis on which to build a life “without salt nor sugar”.

Of course, it’s also not about doing more than you should, just like that. Sometimes by trying to do more you do less. As the old popular saying goes: “Who kisses too much, badly embraces”. It’s about putting a touch of excellence in everything we do every day, no matter how small. To give value to our actions because through each of them, we leave a trace of our passage in the world.

Let others act …

There are people who refuse to grow up. They know that continuing to act like children is something that involves great limitations, but also many benefits. One of them is never having to deal with the anxiety of making decisions, solving problems or taking responsibility for certain mistakes.

It doesn’t matter that a person is of an advanced age: sometimes they continue to behave like a child. One of the aspects through which this attitude is most reflected is in “letting others act”. In every embarrassing or compromising situation, these people will let other people lead the way. They do not want to have to carry a burden: the others are there for that.

Obviously, living according to what others do makes us conformist and may end up nullifying our abilities and potential. These only emerge when life presents us with demanding circumstances.

The more curious is that the  more the responsibilities and the risks of the life are delegated to the others, the more the confidence in us decreases in front of what we are able to do. This is how a vicious circle is formed. Unfortunately, in this “let others do it” we can also let go of the most intense and constructive emotions and experiences in life.

Low self-esteem and lack of motivation

When you have a low level of self-esteem or a low level of motivation, you tend to fall into conformity. On the one hand, because we do not believe ourselves capable of carrying out a given task and, on the other hand, because we do not have this impetus or this energy necessary, even essential, to start or continue a process. any project.

A striking example is that of children. Many people, by acquiring the responsibility of having children in their care, also acquire a motivation which impels them to create and to build. It is at this point, precisely, that they cease to be conformists, at least in this aspect. Sometimes, too, a borderline situation turns into motivation: you know that if you do nothing, you will sink. Large crossroads do not always bring negative consequences.

This is why  self-esteem and motivation go hand in hand and can be decisive in the level of conformity of each person. Someone who does not believe in himself or who does not have this additional motivation to act and create will certainly lack the courage to achieve goals that go beyond the bare necessities.