Stop Hurting Others With Your Words

Words have such a strong power that in addition to hurting the person to whom they are directed, they remain engraved in his heart and in his soul, creating insecurity and weakening relationships.

Are you a negative communicator? Stop the damage now and save your friendly, romantic or even professional relationships.

Human beings are social beings, which means that we communicate with different people throughout the day. This communication can take place in different situations, perspectives or moods, which is why it is not always easy to maintain a healthy way of communicating with the people around us.

We may not be very good at expressing our ideas and feelings, we may not know how to communicate in a relationship, or we may simply not pay attention when interacting with others.

All these elements combine to transform us into unwanted people for those around us. 

There are four very obvious types of miscommunication:

1. Criticisms of others

It doesn’t matter if we raise our voices when something happens that we don’t like or that affects us in some way.

However, problems arise when we spend our time complaining and blaming those around us. These critiques are intended to demonstrate the inferiority of the other, and usually begin with these words:

– “What you do is…”
– “You are…”
– “You should…”
– “It would be better if…”
– “Your family, your friends…”

2. Universal declarations

Any type of phrases or clichés that generalize people or their behavior.  For example :

– “You are always…”
– “You never do…”
– “You are so…”
– “You are all the time…”
– “This is not the first time that…”

3. Negative attention paid to a person without taking into account the problem

Every situation that arises has two aspects that must be taken into account: the people involved and the problem raised.

When we pay negative attention to a person, and show no interest in the real problem, we have a pessimistic pattern of communication.

Example of poor communication: “You never do anything, you are a slacker!”
Example of good communication: “I know you are very busy, but you could at least help me clean and tidy your room.”

4. Be insensitive to the feelings of others

We are sentient beings by nature. This is why  invalidating or denigrating a person’s feelings can turn into the lethal weapon that will end your relationship with them. 

We stifle the feelings of others when we don’t acknowledge their emotions, downplay them, ignore them, or judge them negatively. For example :

– “What you think does not interest me”.
– “What you feel makes me neither hot nor cold”.
– “Don’t be so dramatic”.
– “Don’t be too happy, you haven’t done anything exceptional”.

Intelligence applied to communication

Although we are all self-sufficient beings who enjoy great abilities and qualities, we must always listen to others and be listened to. We must never forget that how we act today determines our future. If we hurt the people who are with us today, they will tire of our attitude, and will seek to distance themselves from us.

We are not advising you to lie or resign yourself, but to learn to be more positive and intelligent in the way you communicate.