7 Keys To Learning From The Mistakes Of Your Past Relationships
The fact of not having had success in your previous romantic relationships should help you learn from your mistakes.
It is not always easy to achieve this wisdom, but it should allow you to know yourself better, and to discover many things about others.
Each relationship can teach us new things about love, about desire, about what can hurt us, what hurts others, or what we may or may not be willing to give and sacrifice. for the loved one.
The end of a relationship is a painful stage, but one that should allow us to learn. There is nothing better than a sentimental failure to get to know each other better, and to learn more about our behaviors and our beliefs.
It’s hard work, but it is necessary to analyze what has failed, to explore what we have done wrong or what we need to improve, to have a holistic view of the failure.
This will allow us not to repeat the same destructive mistakes, which caused the end of this relationship.
There can be many explanations for failure, such as a bad choice of mate, a problem with communication or behavior. Understanding what went wrong will empower you as a person and build healthier relationships in the future.
Bad decisions conditioned by experience
Your life experience may lead you to a partner who is similar to what you already know. If you are used to having a certain type of relationship, it is quite normal that you are drawn to role models that are familiar to you.
It is possible that you have doubts, and that you realize that this model does not make you happy.
You can tell yourself that it is impossible to get out of this frame, or you can be confident in your ability to make a difference.
Some people, including you, perhaps, take the opposite approach. What they already know frightens them, makes them nauseous, and they look for something radically opposed to anything they have ever been through.
However, just the fact that the situation is different will not necessarily ensure a stable relationship.
To learn from our mistakes, it is essential to identify the model that underlies our choices and to discover whether the decisions we make are conditioned by our experience.
In this article, we’re going to bring you 7 thoughts that can help you understand the reasons for your romantic failure.
1. Having too high expectations
Sometimes, one of the two members of the couple is more involved than the other, and expects the same from him. However , for a relationship to work, both parts of the couple must have the same level of commitment.
You shouldn’t force your partner to feel the same way you do, because it’s something to be won.
2. Do not pay attention to bad signs
Some people have an unfortunate tendency to ignore the obvious signs when a relationship is struggling. They may not even see that their partner is not ready for a lasting and positive relationship.
The need and the desire for this relationship to work, can sometimes prevent us from seeing what is there, right in front of our eyes.
3. Pull the alarm signal too early
It is important to take the time to fully understand what is going on, to analyze the situation and to find out what may be missing in the relationship.
Running away from the slightest problem demonstrates a fear of intimacy and an inability to recognize that people can change over time if they let love guide them.
Fighting the urge to break up and developing the patience needed to understand each other can save a relationship.
4. Living too long without love
Not feeling love for a long time is a clear sign that you shouldn’t hang on to the relationship.
We are all worthy of being loved and we all deserve a partner who truly loves us.
Maintaining a relationship that impoverishes you, in which you don’t feel loved or valued, is destructive. These relationships in which love does not thrive cannot last.
5. Having too much emotional baggage
Painful experiences from the past can place a heavy emotional burden on us if we are not able to leave the pain behind.
You need to forgive yourself and not overload yourself with remorse, guilt, shame, anger, and pain when starting a new relationship.
If you don’t leave these destructive experiences behind, they will prevent you from having a new relationship. Therefore, you will always doubt yourself and the other person.
6. Resign
Failure in a romantic relationship can be very damaging to self-esteem, so much so that we can resign ourselves to accepting what we have.
It means accepting that someone treats us badly, that they consider themselves superior to us, or that they do not put us on an equal footing.
The most common mistake is to think that things are what they are, and that it is not possible to aspire to a better situation.
If you take this attitude, chances are you’ll repeat the same mistakes once in another relationship. You must never give up. You must learn to recognize people who treat you in this way, and stay away from them.
7. Admit your mistakes
Admitting to having made mistakes in a relationship is a difficult step to take, as it is much easier to pass the blame on the other.
However, acknowledging responsibility and own mistakes is vital to knowing what needs to be avoided at all costs in the next relationship.
End your guilt, and face all the things you need to change, so you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.
