Recognition, The Key To Dignity And Self-esteem
We all need recognition. First of all, a recognition coming from ourselves, to be convinced of our capacities, our image and our value. Recognition is also this pillar that allows us to fix the foundations of self-esteem in children, the impetus that the employee needs in his work and the bond that establishes a solid relationship in a couple. It allows us to feel loved, valued, appreciated …
The concept of recognition, curious as it may seem, sometimes gives rise to some misunderstandings. Some see it as a negative dimension because people who continuously seek recognition from others are unable to maintain adequate emotional independence. They are, for many, personalities who build their self-esteem on the basis of the answers offered to them by others.
It must be said that the key to everything lies in balance. Because if there is something that we cannot rule out, it is the great importance that recognition occupies in our relational, social and emotional life. What’s more, if we think about Maslow’s pyramid of needs, we can see that recognition occupies a special place. It is at this level of the hierarchy that lies this subtle harmony between self-recognition or the ability to feel competent with ourselves and the importance of the valuation that others place on us or our actions. .
Recognition, a form of personal and social dignity
The human being lives in a constant duality. We all like to feel present in an environment but, at the same time, we like to be absent, to feel free, independent and separated from our daily spaces. Now, if there’s one thing no one likes, it’s being invisible. To be that figure that no one sees, appreciates or takes into consideration.
The child at the back of the class knows this well. The one in a corner of the yard, with no one to talk to, no one with whom to enjoy a colorful childhood. The adolescent whom no one understands but whom everyone sanctions knows too. And the person who does not feel valued by his spouse, who lives in the greatest loneliness and the greatest emotional confusion is well aware of this. Recognition is a psychic tendon that validates us with our reference groups and, at the same time, makes us worthy as people.
Because to recognize someone is to make them visible. It is to recognize its presence, to allow it “to be” and to create itself, in complete freedom. It is appreciating a person for who they are, endowing them with an affection that drives personal growth but does not limit or invalidate. Recognition generates self-acceptance so that, in a way, we can also strengthen the muscle of our self-esteem even more.
On the other hand, one aspect that we cannot forget about self-esteem is that in this self-evaluative perception we also include the way we think others see us. One thing cannot be separated from another. We are social beings and what others say or think about us will influence us in one way or another.
Recognition is important, but we cannot depend exclusively on it
We realize that few things can be as painful as rejection. Experiencing abandonment or contempt within our reference social group can ring sirens in our heads and ignite our panic button. Because we do not choose solitude; isolation caused by unhealthy, negative or neglected ties generates suffering. As we pointed out at the beginning, as people we need to balance the gratitude we have for ourselves with that we receive from others.
Focusing our lifestyle on relying solely on positive external feedback generates addiction and discomfort. So it is important that we keep it simple in our mind. The quality of the recognition we have for ourselves will in turn influence how others value us. Let us take a few examples. The employee who believes in his skills, who feels skillful and self-confident will create a positive impact in his work environment. He will perform well and therefore others will recognize his efforts.
Another example. The person who values himself, who feels fulfilled, free and autonomous builds much stronger emotional relationships. This mature and confident character also attracts recognition and admiration, but never mutual dependence. There is no need for constant positive feedback. Our happiness will not depend exclusively on the recognition we have received or not today. There is a perfect balance between what we give ourselves personally and what others offer us, based on absolute sincerity and genuine affection.
In conclusion, we cannot put this concept aside in the news. Recognition is the basis of any society, for a very simple reason: it promotes inclusion. She makes the invisible present, regardless of her age, condition, ethnicity or character. Knowing how to recognize also means knowing how to love intelligently, because whoever practices the healthiest recognition is able to appreciate the other for who he is and not for what we would like him to be.
So let’s learn to recognize each other, to give ourselves visibility as people, to take our needs into consideration through affection, availability and humility.
Our thoughts We invite you to discover reciprocity from another angle, in order to feel freer and more in control of your own decisions, recognizing …
