When You Want Something, Let Go Of It!

If you want to catch a butterfly, the more you chase it and go after it, the more it will escape you. On the contrary, if you leave it free, it may come to rest on your shoulder.

This phrase is so well known, if we apply it to real life, we could compare it to people who tend to pressure others.

When a person puts pressure on someone, they get the opposite effect to that desired.

To verify this effect, try to think if you have ever dealt with a friend or acquaintance who pressured you and with whom you ended up severing ties.

Generally speaking, we don’t like to be forced to do anything. When we want something, we go to others ourselves.

Insisting too much, whether amicably or lovingly, often results in the person pulling away.

For example, imagine that we have a friend with whom we have constant contact, but at some point, due to lack of time, excess work or the need for our privacy, we lose the desire to contact her.

This is when we realize what type of person we are dealing with.

Way of acting of a healthy and mature person

If someone you care about has stopped contacting you, there are more subtle ways to talk to them about it.

A healthy way to act would be to make comments like: “it’s been a long time since we last spoke, I hope we will find some time in our schedules”, “I hope things are going well, I miss you”, “how are you? I hope we will find a moment to sit down and have a coffee ”.

This way of communicating denotes a desire to reconnect, but without pressure or victimization.

In case of no response from the other party, the person should let the other “steal” since it is clear that whatever the case, they do not have the time or the inclination to take it back. the contact.

A healthy person, when he wishes to maintain contact, he does so, so if you realize by establishing contact that he is not reciprocal, it is better to leave him the freedom to make his choice, without anger or pressure.

Way of acting of a person who does not respect the freedom of others

Examples of sentences that could mean to us that someone does not respect our will to have made the choice not to continue the contact:

“Why do not you write me? Are you angry? ”,“ It’s been a while since I heard from you, I don’t know what I did to you and it hurts a lot ”,“ I made the effort several times times to meet you but I think you are avoiding me ”,“ what is going on my friend? ”,“ I don’t understand your attitude of ignoring me, we have to talk as soon as possible ”.

Supposing there is anger, saying it hurts, insisting on discussing it immediately, etc … are pressures to make the other feel guilty, when in reality the reasons why a person no longer has contact can be multiple, and that is why jumping to conclusions and lobbying cannot work well.

Applying pressure causes a negative effect

Lobbying doesn’t hold others back. The only thing that can happen is estrangement from others because they feel like they are suffocating.

Whereas accepting things as they are can make the person walking away come back to you when they want to.

This is the example of good friends, who do not have very continuous contact, but in the absence of pressure and by the fact of respecting each other’s space, they know that they are free to go away when they need to be alone or when they have very little time.

This freedom of knowing that one can disconnect from each other for a while without being perceived negatively by the other, is what strengthens the bond between people.

When we know that our way of acting is accepted, relationships are strengthened because we feel free to walk away knowing that the other is willing to enjoy our company when possible and to understand that in other circumstances it may be otherwise.

If you like someone, give them freedom, let things unfold naturally and time will bring everything in its due time, the person will come to you of their own free will without pressure or victimization.

The best recipe for attracting people who value your company is: to make yourself known, show the best of yourself, show your interest and give the other person the freedom to take a step towards you, and if that does not happen , look for another butterfly.