Thank You … But Goodbye
Thank you and goodbye are two of the most difficult words to pronounce. Gratitude is an action that brings together four types of behavior. There is that of those who want to thank but who do not know how to do it (or who are ashamed) or those who thank the knife under their throat by social norm. But there are also people who do not know, nor do not want to do it or directly those who are not aware that they should do it.
On the other hand, we have the farewell. The one that really hurts and is hard to tell. The one that we are aware of and that we verbalize by saying that something has ended and will not come again. Some farewells tear us tears and puncture our stomachs. It is a time when many are trapped in silence and unable to pronounce these five letters. We can imagine how difficult it is to prepare a post where we use both words at the same time. Even if, of course, despite the difficulty, some situations strongly recommend it.
Thank you but…
There are things that hurt us and we know it. We keep them in our life even if we know they are not suitable for us. Addictions to people, feelings, objects or behaviors are common these days. Acquaintances, friends or ourselves fall into the nets of these harmful elements. The more time we devote to this persecution, the more addiction we acquire and the more closed and blind we are to change. It’s hard to think that we can thank something that hurts us. This is an ambivalent thought.
“If you can’t find something in your situation that you can thank, then focus on the beautiful days ahead and thank them in anticipation.”
-Nick Vujicic-
Thanks come from the immediate satisfaction that comes with a situation or a person. They are guided by anxiety or the compulsive search for it. But that even takes away our freedom of choice and robs us of our personality.
How many people are completely different when faced with the presence of the element they are looking for? For a very long time, they are not aware of the problem. We can bump into the same wall over and over again, and we can be warned over and over again. The uncontrollable urge to find love, the need to be constantly approved by a leader who despises us or to feel the need to belong to a group does not do us good in our personal development when the satisfaction of this need makes us dependent on one source.
Goodbye forever
There are farewells which are very harsh and this harshness rarely convinces us of their necessity. Whether in the case of an obsession, a person or an object, saying goodbye and not looking behind you takes motivation and courage. However, saying goodbye can be learned. For this, it is necessary to know how to tolerate negative emotions and accept feelings of sadness, as both present and temporary states.
“I say goodbye to you for life, even though I would think about you all my life.”
-Jose Angel Buesa-
On the other hand, we are not always aware of what will come next. The adjustment period can be longer and more complicated than we initially thought. Doubt or the path to relapse are present and we must prepare for it. To avoid this, it is advisable not to say goodbye halfway. Saying what you really think and expressing emotions assertively is the first step in moving forward in the new circumstances.
Farewell words
When we need to get away from something that is doing us bad and good at the same time, the ideal is to schedule a farewell plan. We can do this in writing, so that the messy torrent of emotions and thoughts can find useful meaning in the decision we have made. Through writing, we can establish an order of ideas that serve as references for moments of confusion.
“Goodbyes always hurt, even if they have been wanted for a long time.”
-Arthur Schnitzler-
Writing a letter is one of the options. A title: Thank you but goodbye. Pencil and paper. Starting the “farewell” with the “thank you” is important. Anything that binds you and keeps you attached to a person, thing, relationship, or activity has its reason. But no one wants to live in a place of suffering.
There are a thousand reasons to say thank you, such as change, momentary gratification, or feeling good in a situation you know (the routine). But then we have to talk about the farewell. It is important to express the negative consequences of this situation. Talk about the difficulties in the adaptation process, but also in the moment of hope for change that presents itself, and most important: having the opportunity to choose to move forward without this company, from which we are moving away today.
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