Can You Change Your Personality?
Changing our personalities is something that we have all wanted and even tried to do at certain times in our lives. There may be a number of reasons for this initiative, but the main one is that there is something about the way we relate to others that we don’t like.
Before talking about changes, it is necessary to point out the condition which makes these possible: the personality does not have a stationary structure. On the other hand, it is also necessary to dismantle a myth: she also does not become immobile with age. What usually happens, however, is that with age, the patterns associated with a certain character train intensify, as resistance to change does the same. Let us then understand the personality as something dynamic, capable of experiencing various modifications, whether from an intentional process, or favored by circumstances.
During childhood and adolescence it is much easier to change our personality, because at that point it has not yet been fully configured. In this way, all influences exert greater power over her.
What do we mean by “personality”?
Personality, or personality structure, is the set of psychological traits that defines the totality, or at least a good part of the universe of feelings and cognitions. This structure configures the behaviors and the way in which we usually relate to ourselves but also to others.
Other connotations of the concept of personality are linked to the individual’s representation of himself as well as to the way in which the world presents itself. From this point of view, personality is the “mask” we show to others, a strategy that allows us to obscure a certain internal aspect and improve social acceptance.
In fact, the epistemological origin of the concept of the “person” goes back to ancient Greece, where this word meant “mask”. Therefore, in the theater, masks were put on to represent the different personalities embodied by the actor.
Changing our personality can become a need
As we argued in the introduction, the passage of time can complicate change, just as it has solidified the roots. However, this does not prevent changes from occurring at older ages, although many people believe that at their age it is impossible to change.
We often hear phrases like “I’m like that” or “at my age, I won’t change anymore”. This may seem partially true in some cases, but most of the time, we can introduce changes in our personality at any point in life.
In fact, personality changes are a therapeutic need for those with a personality disorder. These people have structured a series of behavioral patterns and psychological mechanisms that cause deep suffering in them, but also in those around them.
This suffering usually results in anguish, anxiety, aggression, loss of self-control, some dissatisfaction, etc. Interpersonal relationships are also affected by this type of disorder which, moreover, is generally accompanied by difficulties of adaptation and social integration, and consequently also by a tendency to isolation.
Changing our personality is possible, even if it is not easy to implement
Changing your personality is not easy: dismantling and replacing these behavior patterns with more appropriate ones requires limited resources, such as motivation or time. On the other hand, remember that a pattern of behavior – a disposition – is established by repeating a certain type of behavior to resolve similar situations. For example, there are people whose behavior patterns are structured this way because they have resorted to the system of flight or avoidance.
If these people know that they have to face a situation that they cannot adequately resolve, they will react by avoiding it, or by fleeing if they could not have anticipated it. This is so, even if they know that in the medium or long term, this way of acting will harm them.
Thus, the result is that by avoiding or fleeing these situations, these people manage to avoid suffering. However, in the medium or long term, they sometimes suffer even more. They will feel unable to lead a normal life.
Letting go of old psychological mechanisms to change your personality
A change in personality may imply the abandonment of these pathological mechanisms, being gradually replaced by others, more adequate. To return to the previous example, one could say that these people must try to deal with these situations in a determined way. Thus, they will be able to verify how, in many cases, they are able to overcome them. In addition, their confidence will be strengthened. The person then learns to cope and discovers that he has the power to influence his personal development.
In addition, personality changes are easier to implement when the person focuses their attention on very concrete goals. In this sense, it can be of great help to determine how and in what way the change will manifest itself concretely. Of course, a psychologist will have to give us psychological techniques or instruments that will help us achieve the previously set goals.
Our thoughts Problems have arisen in the study of personality: the creation of instruments that can measure it and an approach serving as a point of …
